My Homebirth Story
I still can’t believe I have such a beautiful daughter. Sofia was born at home in what turned out to be the most powerful and meaningful experience of my life. We prepared a lot to make the birth as calm, comfortable, and safe as possible, and the truth is, everything went even better than we imagined. I feel incredibly happy and proud.
We didn’t tell many people ahead of time that we had chosen to have a homebirth, because we knew it could make others worry. But almost everything went according to plan and it truly was the best decision for us.
For as long as I can remember, I was terrified of giving birth. That fear pushed me to research and learn everything I could to try to go through it in the best way possible for me. What worried me most was the health and wellbeing of my baby. Then came my own safety, and finally, I was extremely concerned about the pain. I had always heard that childbirth was the worst pain a person could experience, and of course, I didn’t want to go through that.
I read and learned a lot, combining all that information with what I remembered from my university classes on animal physiology. I learned so much. One of my favorite things was understanding how the hormones that regulate labor work and what we can do to support that process. I especially liked learning about the role of oxytocin and how to help the hypothalamus produce and release it.
The key is to feel safe, comfortable, and relaxed. Oxytocin is a very "shy" hormone, and if a woman feels fear, stress, or discomfort, the body doesn’t release it properly. The result is that labor might not start, or it may stall. That’s why being at home, in a peaceful and private environment, helps the hormone flow much more easily than being in a bright, unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers.
Another thing I loved learning was how proper breathing helps the uterus work more efficiently. If you stay relaxed and breathe correctly, like in apnea training, oxygenated blood flows to the uterus, reducing pain. But if you panic or hyperventilate, adrenaline rises and blood rushes to your arms and legs for a fight or flight response. The uterus gets less oxygen and the contractions hurt more, creating a cycle of fear, tension, and pain.
Understanding all this helped me a lot. I also took a hypnobirthing course and loved it.
My labor lasted eight and a half hours from the first contraction. I used breathing techniques throughout and they worked incredibly well. I was at home with Daniel and a midwife. Dan supported me the entire time, making sure I felt safe and cared for. The midwife monitored everything and kept an eye on our wellbeing.
She’s a very experienced local midwife, originally from Bonaire but living in Sint Maarten for many years. We chose her because several people on the island recommended her. She told us she has attended more than 7,500 births over her career. She used to work in the hospital here, in the Netherlands, and even in the jungle in Suriname. Now she only attends homebirths. I really liked that she knows both my doctors on the Dutch and French sides of the island, and they both told me she’s excellent at what she does.
She also reassured us that the hospital was only 10 minutes away and that she would transfer us long before any emergency arose. She followed my pregnancy closely, ran many tests, and only agreed to the homebirth because I was a very low-risk case. That gave me a lot of peace of mind.
Everything began at midnight on a Saturday, when I was exactly 40 weeks and one day pregnant. I saw a bit of blood after going to the bathroom. I texted the midwife, Regina, and she asked if I felt any pain. I said no and went to sleep. At 2 am I woke up with a light cramping feeling. I told her, and by 2:30 am she was at our house. She checked me and said I was already five centimeters dilated. I couldn’t believe it.
She told me to try and sleep because the contractions would probably wake me up later. I was too excited but I knew I had to rest, so I managed to sleep. At 7:30 am I woke up with contractions. The midwife stayed over, sleeping in the living room.
I had my coffee, walked the dog, and went about my morning routine while using an app to time contractions. By 11 am, they were getting stronger and I started using my breathing exercises. I sat on my birthing ball and did pelvic movements, lying down when I needed rest. All of that helped me manage the intensity.
At 1 pm, Dan and the midwife started filling up an inflatable birth pool. I got in and felt incredibly relaxed. The warm water and my breathing techniques helped soothe the pain. I felt so safe with Dan and the midwife by my side. Even my dog, Blacky, was amazing. He stayed calm and close to me, as if he knew his job was to comfort me.
By 3 pm, everything changed. The contractions became very intense. My uterus was no longer dilating, it was starting to push the baby down. Since I didn’t have any medication, I could feel every part of the process. Everything I had read was unfolding exactly as described.
Dan gave me strong back massages and did breathing exercises with me. The midwife helped me change positions and guided me through the next stage. At 3:30 pm, she checked me and saw that I was fully dilated and that the baby’s head was already almost out. She got excited and said it wouldn’t be long now.
She had been checking the baby’s heart regularly and everything was perfect, no signs of stress. Still, because the head was so close, she encouraged me to start pushing. I wanted to let my body push on its own, following the theory of the fetal ejection reflex, but I also trusted her experience. So I started to push, but the baby wasn’t coming out.
I tried in the pool through three contractions but nothing changed. The midwife asked me to get out and lie on the couch. She checked again and said the baby was right there, so I kept going. At exactly 3:59 pm, our daughter was born.
When she came out, the midwife was surprised at how big she was, especially her head. That explained why she wasn’t coming out easily. A few days earlier, both of my doctors had said she didn’t seem very big, so it was a surprise.
The midwife was ready to do an episiotomy if needed, but thankfully, it wasn’t necessary. I didn’t tear, just had three small internal grazes that she stitched right after. They hurt a bit at the time because I was very sensitive, but now they’ve healed and I feel great.
When I saw the baby, I couldn’t believe it. She was big and so beautiful. They placed her on my chest and I felt overwhelming happiness. Dan was overjoyed, and even Blacky came to check out what was happening. He behaved so well. That moment was truly magical.
A few minutes later, I video-called my mom to show her the baby. I had a lot of energy and felt fine, although I couldn’t get up yet because the placenta hadn’t come out. About 30 minutes later, we cut the umbilical cord following delayed cord clamping practices, so the baby could get all the extra blood from the placenta. She weighed 3.9 kilos and was 55 centimeters long. No wonder she felt so big during labor. She was born with a full head of dark hair and the sweetest little face. She didn’t cry much, just looked around calmly, and latched on right away when I offered her the breast. That first feed felt so special.
The midwife stayed for several hours to make sure everything was okay. She helped me take a shower and checked the baby’s vitals. Everything was perfect. Sofia was calm and alert, and I felt tired but euphoric. Daniel held her with tears in his eyes. He kept saying how proud he was of me and how beautiful she was. That moment, with the three of us together in our living room, was pure magic.
Over the next few days, we stayed home resting and bonding. My recovery was quick, and I truly believe it was because I gave birth in such a peaceful way, surrounded by love and support. There were no IVs, no monitors, no fluorescent lights. Just warm water, candlelight, and the people I trust most in the world.
I’m so grateful I was able to give birth this way. I know homebirth isn’t for everyone, but for me, it was the most empowering and transformative experience of my life. I’ll never forget those hours, and every time I look at Sofia, I feel proud of what we went through together to bring her into the world.
She arrived safely, calmly, and full of life, right here at home.